Police investigate reports of "Dementor" in city park

ESSEXVILLE, Mich. -- The Essexville Public Safety Department responded to Smith Park to investigate reports of a Dementor in the park Wednesday morning. Their Facebook post about the incident assured residents there were no missing prisoners from Azkaban.

Earlier this morning, the Public Safety Department received a call from a concerned citizen who reported seeing a Dementor in Smith Park. This is particularly concerning since everyone knows muggles can’t see dementors and because our only officer able to perform the Patronus charm is off duty.

Further investigation revealed it to be merely trash.

The Ministry of Magic assures us that all dementors are accounted for at Azkaban.

Please help us keep the City beautiful and help trash find it’s home.